Tag Archive - Life

Meat and Potato (MP) Sermons: Margin

April 26, 2010 in God, Life, Philosophy with 0 Comments

I’m starting a series of posts that will talk about sermons topics I wish would be taught on a regular basis – every year or perhaps even every quarter. These are the key truths that seem to be the linchpin to unlocking vast treasures of understanding – at least the way I see it (it is my blog after all).

The first one will be no surprise to those that know me: MARGIN.

Margin, by definition, is extra space allocated for a particular reason. We see it in books, roads and even in how the chairs are arranged at church. Have you ever seen a book where the words ran right up to the edge of the paper? It’s maddening to try to read – your eye has an extremely hard time transitioning from one line to the next. Or been driving in a construction zone where the road narrows and there just isn’t much room between you and oncoming traffic? Or sat down to someone and felt like you were too close?

Principle One: The lack of margin requires that you pay extra attention to the edges.

I don’t desire to have our pastors teach on proper book formatting or how to properly space the chairs in the worship center, but the concept of margin exists in some very key areas of life:

  • Time
  • Finance
  • Morality
  • Energy (physical)

Margin in our schedule is probably the one that we just hear and shake our heads at and say, “Yep – I know, but I’m simply too busy.” We know that we are running too hard and are missing life as we hurry along. Strategies and principles of how to create margin in one’s schedule is needed.

Financial margin is another place where we know the good of it, but don’t have any idea how to achieve it. Unless you have a money tree that you haven’t planted, obtaining financial margin will require some very hard lifestyle choices that hurt on the front end, but bring freedom in the end.

Moral margin is not talked about much, but it is simply staying far away from situations that pull you into the deep weeds. We live in a world that is ruled by one who would love nothing more than to see you and I be pulled into something that takes us out of the game. Thinking strategically about this area is what we need help with.

Finally, margin with our physical energy is something that is tied to all other areas. We are either too busy or too stressed to do what is right for our physical bodies. Physiologically, our bodies need rest. When we sleep soundly, our body goes to work repairing all of the crap we do to it when we’re awake. If we either don’t get enough sleep or aren’t able to sleep deeply, that regenerative process can’t accomplish its goal. The results are numerous and affect our lifestyles greatly.

Margin isn’t just a concept to be admired from afar and it’s not a fairy tale either. It is a choice. A personal choice. A personal choice between life and death – literally in some cases and we need our spiritual leadership to lead by word and example to embrace the importance of margin.

Margin is simply putting space in one’s life that is left for God to fill as He sees fit. The margin-filled life is the key to experiencing God’s spontaneous nature and associated blessings..as we go.

Into the Fire

January 21, 2010 in Leadership, Life, Love, parenting with 1 Comment

Priincipal's OfficeI had a chance to speak some new truth into my son the other night. About an hour after he went to bed, he woke up crying and I went to see him. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that he didn’t like “those boys at school pulling on my shirt.” I knew what he was talking about because it coincided with other events of that day that resulted in a trip to the “principal,” but that’s not the story.

He was mad – the kind of mad that makes you cry and hit and scream…all at the same time. In that state, he told me he wasn’t “going back to that school – NEVER!” and continued to sob. I snatched him up and tried my best to console him. This is the first time that I felt like he was being picked on by other kids. It obviously made him mad and it certainly made me mad. It’s my boy they’re jerking around, and what’s worse, it has caused him to be afraid.

Fear is tricky and very powerful. Even more so in the mind of a 4yr old. So I did what any other dad would do, I told him that I had his back and that Manatt boys don’t run away from our problems, we use our head and our heart to overcome it. Low and behold, it seemed to work. Cool – that was just a shot in the dark. It was true, but I didn’t expect that to actually assuage his fears.

This taught me two things:

  1. My son looks up to me and believes that I can help him
  2. This parenting thing is starting to click for me…a little…ever so slightly

Today was the day he went back to school (only half days, one day a week) and it went great. My wife was able to talk to his teachers and share our concerns about an apparent breakdown in supervision and asked for a higher degree of sensitivity for the way the kids “played” with one another. How about some kudos for the wife – she’s getting that parenting thing down too!

All kidding aside, this showed me how important my job is to help prepare my kids to handle situations that scare them and to remind them that mommy and daddy have their backs. I sure am glad that God has my back!

Priorities

January 21, 2010 in God, Life, Philosophy with 0 Comments

ImportantExamining one’s life for any length of time (in one sitting) is either a luxury reserved for vacation or the result of something gone wrong (more likely). One reason to go through this exercise is to make sure that you are spending your time on the best things instead of a collection of good things.

Being part of a large and vibrant church, opportunities to get involved are in great abundance because God is doing a ton of amazing things in the lives of His people. I’m glad the resources and organization are available for me to “plug in” and contribute. But there is a hidden trap there too. Let me explain.

Exclude church for a minute (you may anyway), life is full of causes, entertainment and obligations that eat our time…if we let them.  We can look up one day and wonder where the week, month or even year went. These are good things; worthy things to give our time to, but are the best things for me – based on how God made me?

Add church back in and it becomes quite clear that getting an overcrowded schedule is EASY…as easy as saying “Yes.” YES is fun and rewarding and appreciated…until the YES becomes a “how am I going to get it all done?” Then it becomes something different altogether. Guilt and disappointment start to reign in our minds when we can’t meet the obligations we so eagerly signed up for – fun becomes un-fun, un-rewarding and resented.

Want fun and fulfillment to mark your life again? The answer is simple, but the implementation is hard. It is found in just two letters: N, O. I know what you’re thinking. NO isn’t fun – it’s harsh and offensive and divisive…anything but fun. And you’re right. For whatever reason, we are wired to resist saying NO to people and “good” things until we are reminded of the  awful feeling of having too much task and not enough daylight.

Saying NO is the precursor to being able to say YES to the right things – the BEST things. It is also the best way to create pockets of time in your schedule that you can turn over to God and let Him have a say.

So, here’s the challenge: of all of the things you do and all of the obligations you have each week, what are the most valuable…not most important or hardest to do without or even hardest to get out of. Put everything on the table – nothing is safe. As that list is formed – ask yourself why you think those things are the most valuable. Develop an answer for all of them.

As you mull that over, think about your values. If you have a family, what are your family values. Here are a few areas to consider:

  • Financial: what is your belief about debt? savings? giving?
  • Spiritual: do you go to church? why do you go to church? why not? Do you value God’s Word as an integral part of how you live?
  • Marriage: how permanent is your marriage? How do you want to honor your mate?
  • Family: what character traits to you want to focus on in your children? What are the “non-negotiables” in your home? How many nights a week are we going to eat at the dinner table together?
  • Relationships: how close do you want to be with your parents? your siblings? your children?  your neighbors? your best friend?

Now marry the two lists together. Do the reasons you have for how you spend your time match the values you say you believe? If not, perhaps adjustments in the former list need to be made. You see, values don’t change – they are the core of who we are and are immune to our circumstance. Therefore, they should be the starting place once you start to say YES again after a time of saying NO.

Add back into your life the BEST things based on your personal and family values. Resist the temptation to deviate. Because in the end, it is your responsibility to use the time you have and make the most of it.

The Skit Guys have a video talking about this very process that may help bring some clarity.


YouTube Direct-What is God's Will

Surviving the Valley – Legacy

January 20, 2010 in God, Life, Philosophy with 2 Comments

Reach into the ValleyThis is the third and final installment in the Surviving the Valley series. Part I and Part II were focused on gearing up for and making it out alive respectively. This post, though, turns our attention outward.

One of the most unexpected things that has happened in my valley experiences have been the reactions of God’s people – both helpful and hurtful. Both equally floored me. You see, helping people in the valley is extremely hard – I mean really helping. It is more than a word or a gesture because the valley is more than a pothole. And, I’m convinced more and more, it isn’t until we have the war wounds of the valley that we understand that.

Here are some basic things to keep in mind when considering stepping foot into someone else’s valley:

  1. The situation can’t be resolved easily or it would have by the time you heard about it. If you move toward someone hurting, be prepared for a lengthy stay. If you can’t or don’t want to offer something more than words of advice, it is much better to simply pray.
  2. If your first instinct is to shake your finger and tell someone how the choices they made led to their situation, step away from the ledge. The valley isn’t the time or place to beat people up over what they did wrong. Again, just pray.
  3. Get right with God! Entering someone else’s valley will require the ability to relay wisdom gained directly from God. It isn’t about what you know, but what God is doing that is important. If your relationship with God is anything less than vibrant, your effectiveness as a vessel of God for this person will be diminished.

In essence, our hearts need to break for those that are hurting; while at the same time we get a tinge of excitement because we know that God is up to something very special. Our own valley experiences have given us this perspective.

That’s the wonderful paradox of the valley – hard times = greatest change. The metaphors in Scripture are plentiful:

  • The refiner’s fire
  • The runner’s race
  • Iron sharpening iron
  • The cross

So the question remains on just how do you help someone in the valley. Your heart is breaking for them and you feel called to step into the middle of it because you know they need to be propped up. While there isn’t a formula, two things made the biggest difference for me in the valley:

  1. Expressions of love. Whenever someone would come up and hug my neck and tell me that they love me and are praying, it was like a warm bed on a cold morning. It is hard to comprehend how restorative an simple, selfless act of love can be. I learned a ton about how much people loved me through these kind acts.
  2. An ear to listen. For some, the truths being taught in the valley are revealed through a verbal discourse. This usually isn’t a request for “answers”, but more often just the need to get something inside to the outside.

As I’ve said before, valley-goers are a rare breed. I wish it weren’t true and I have several theories about why that is, but you’ve suffered enough by this point reading my ramblings. You are still there…right??? Just checking.

In short, hug their neck, clear your schedule for when God calls you to sit a spell and pray like crazy that His Will be done in their heart. Other than that, sit back and be ready to rejoice at the top of the next rise because there won’t be a lack of things to talk about.

Your legacy in the lives of others can come from many places – I hope for some of you, it will be in the form of a valley-goer for someone in need.


YouTube Direct-The Mourning Booth

Surviving the Valley – Landscape

January 19, 2010 in God, Life with 2 Comments

Sheep in the ValleyOver the next several posts, I want to talk about the Valley – the seasons in life where the proverbial breath gets knocked out of us. Each post will examine a facet of the Psalm 23, where King David (a former shepherd) uses great imagery to describe the high places, the valley and the relationship between the two. Over the past several years, God has taught me much of the valley and I’m convinced that it is the primary vehicle for true life change.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, this might not make much sense, but it will soon. The valley is inescapable – we all experience it sooner or later and it is how we respond to it that matters most. I hope you will read on and subscribe for the series. To all others, you will identify greatly with what I have to say and I hope it produces a desire to be a “valley-goer” for someone else like it has for me.

This post is just to give some context that will hopefully enrich the imagery and message of the 23rd Psalm.

THE VALLEY
In geological terms, the valley is a formation created by the upheaval of surrounding areas due to underground forces. For whatever reason, the valley floor didn’t move with the areas around it. Consequently, the valley is defined by the higher places surrounding it. Keep that in mind.

The valley is also a metaphor used in the Bible to describe the tough times in life; a transition from the good times on the mountaintop. David uses commonly understood imagery in Psalm 23 to create a metaphor for us, life and our relationship with our Creator. The context is sheep and shepherding – a career that carries about as much prestige as street sweeper, but one that is still vital to the global economy.

SHEEP
A simple animal that has a sole focus – satiate their hunger. They are grazers and can easily overgraze a pasture resulting in the destruction of a pasture’s ability to recover. For this reason, sheep are methodically rotated between pastures. They not only need a good source of foliage, they need a steady source of potable water. Their digestive system requires a certain amount of water based on the type of plants eaten. For example, new growth eaten in the morning will require less additional water because it naturally contains more water and the dew is also consumed at the same time.

They have great peripheral vision, but lack depth perception. Because of this, they will naturally want to move from dark to light and uphill when frightened. They also have excellent hearing and respond well to audible cues. They, unlike other meat-producing livestock are not raised in modern livestock facilities and therefore the methods of raising sheep have largely gone unchanged over time.

THE SHEPHERD
Shepherding is one of the oldest professions – dating back some 6,000 years and show up in cultural references throughout that time. As flocks grew in size, this profession was created to successfully move the sheep from pasture to pasture and eventually to market for their wool and meat. Because sheep were such an integral part of the economy of a community, the shepherd was an important position and required the mastery of certain skills.

First, he had to know the land – which pastures had the best vegetation, how long they could stay, where to go next and the best (safest, shortest, etc.) way to get there.

Secondly, he had to know what predators were naturally occurring and the best way to detect and fend them off. This meant he had to be a skilled hunter with the rod – a club-shaped weapon that could both be thrown or used for close combat. He also needed to know just the right way to use his staff – a crooked stick used to help the sheep go where they might not naturally want to go.

Lastly, he would need a plan. I can just imagine that herding sheep is much like herding cats – almost impossible. Staying several steps ahead would be the key to keeping your job.

SUMMARY
To sum up, we know:

  • The valley is unpleasant – deep, dark, dangerous and is completely lacking in tasty grass. It is; however, a necessary part of the sheep’s life to transition to better pastures.
  • Sheep are simple animals that look to get their immediate needs met without much regard for the long-term effects. The more trips through the valley, the more likely they are to trust the shepherd.
  • The shepherd is a master of a very diverse set of skills. He cares for his sheep deeply and takes his job very seriously. Failure for one sheep isn’t an option – they are simply too valuable.

Be on the lookout for the “Lessons” – next in the series.

It’s the little things in life

November 3, 2009 in God with 0 Comments

I’ve been thinking lately that my tendency to overlook the little things in life is being overcome by being a dad. More and more I treasure just a few words that pour out of my son’s mouth or the grin from my baby girl when I come home from work. Those things are changing me. I’m taking notice and allowing these small glimpses into the innocence to change my sensitivity to each and every moment.

It is said that the journey is much more important than the destination and I’m more and more inclined to agree the longer I am a dad. It is also changing, by the way, the way I notice my wife. She is an amazing mom and she experiences hundreds of little things each and every day and it is more and more easy for me to realize and appreciate how she expresses herself to our kids. I love her so much!

Finally, I’ve realized something about myself. I am more than I know and realize. God hasn’t fully expressed Himself in me yet. Want to know how I know? I’m still alive. A lifetime is the summation of each decision, each experience, each breath and in all of it is God…bringing out His design for me. I just had a birthday and I wouldn’t go back for all the tea in China because wisdom is priceless. I pray I never forget who made me and how much He loves me and desires to seek Him in the little things…

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