My friends over at dictionary.com define confidence as: full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing.

Confidence to me is being able to walk into a given situation and believe you will succeed ahead of time. Confidence puts a swagger in your step and it allows you to hold your head up high. It also helps to calm nerves and allows for clearer thought and action.

How confident are you overall? If you either don’t know or score yourself on the lower end of the scale, let me suggest spending some time learning about yourself. There are a few things you are going to have to do before you can start this process.

1. Commit | Self discovery takes time and effort. You can either look at it like a bunch of work or you can see it as a means to the end that will make life less stressful.
2. Student’s mindset | Humans are the most complex organisms ever to be conceived and the depth of complexities that make us who we are dictate that we become students. Be on the lookout for new discoveries and take time to ask (and answer) the “what, why, how” questions. For example:

1. “Why did I react that way to that situation?”
2. “What emotions were stirred in me just now and why?”
3. “Do my childhood experiences have anything to do with how I look at the world?”
4. “Is that good or bad or neither?”

• Right Heart | This journey is best started when your goal is to gain a better understanding of your design for His purposes, not your own. Discovering how you were made and connecting that with for whom you were made will provide the “wow’s” and “aha’s” and those lead to greater satisfaction and consequently confidence.

So, now what you ask…

Start with an personal assessment and ask (and answer) these questions. Go ahead and write out your answers:

• If money, time and resources were unlimited, what would I do with my life?
• What am I getting paid to do that I would do for free if money weren’t an option?
• What type of people do I get along with most?
• Where are my blind spots?
• What makes me the maddest and why?
• What makes me the happiest and why?
• What is my favorite holiday and why?
• If you were to write a book, what would it be about?
• What is your favorite thing about your mate/date/sibling/parent?

The list can go on and on and hopefully you get the gist. Basically, you are trying to get a handle on passions, beliefs and strengths. You will see themes emerge – that’s good…take good notes.

Now, we want to take advantage of some wonderful objective assessment tools to continue to clarify the picture. Understand, you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting an assessment tool. Some good, some not and they all measure slightly different things. What you want is to discover two major categories (three if you are a Christian*).

• Strengths (natural talents, abilities, etc.)
• Personality
• Spiritual Gifts*

Use the questions above to find your strengths – be honest and remember, this is for you, not anyone else.

For personality, I’ve not found none more comprehensive than Servants By Design. My friend Bob Maris and Taibi Kahler developed this assessment tool decades ago and it has been used by NASA to form mission teams, in the public school system to help teacher/student interactions and in the Christian church to assist people in finding the most fulfilling type service, even marriage and parenting. It is very accurate and complete.

Others include DISC, Meyers Briggs, IDAC, and others. The point is that life is perceived based on your personality and experiences. Gaining understanding about your personality gives you the tools to decipher what is happening on the inside, which in turn helps to shape future decision-making. Additionally, the more you understand about your personality, the better you will be at understanding those around you, which can be very useful in communication, conflict resolution and other areas of life.

Spiritual Gift inventories are probably most readily available at your church and your pastor should be able to help you with that request. If you don’t have a church or would rather do one online, I have discovered THIS ONE and it seems fairly thorough.

Simply put, confidence comes from within and is tied to the degree to which you can honestly and gratefully embrace who you really are.

The participants were my brother and his family and my family – not even my wife was privy to the workings of the Hunt, which meant she could play right along. We also had to do this on Friday night after the Arkansas vs. LSU game (we won’t go into detail on this subject) because Saturday was supposed to be rainy all day. Luckily, I planned for rain.

This year started with three anonymous texts to my wife, brother and his wife. Each with one word each that when you put them together kicked off the Hunt officially. The words were UNDER, WELCOME, MAT. There they found an envelope with a letter stating the Hunt was now underway should they want to play.

It gave no specific direction, and just like last year, contained a clue to the next step. On the letter were three words in red, which again, when put together led to the RETURN, AIR, VENT. Behind the filter was another envelope tacked to an exposed 2×4.

Inside that envelope was a small notebook and a piece of paper with a series of symbols on it. The notebook was a journal that I wrote like it was from 1911. In it was a short story that told of how the page with symbols was obtained and some clues about how to decipher those symbols.

Let me stop for just a minute and tell you that I thing I had just as much fun watching them try to figure this out as they were working on the puzzles. So far, it was working out just like I envisioned it.

They received a cipher as part of the story for 6 of the symbols, which were actually numbers. From the 6 given, they could build the remaining numbers and thus assign a numeric value to each symbol. My brother provided the next breakthrough when he started writing down the numeric equivalents to the alphabet. They then translated the symbols to “turkeyhunt us”, which they quickly remembered from last year as the web address for the Hunt.

They went to the computer and pulled up the website. On the home page was a congratulatory message and a riddle. Once solved, the page revealed a set of GPS coordinates. We all got our coats on while my brother programmed my GPS with the coordinates. Out the front door and down the street we went in search of the next piece of the puzzle.

After a few wrong turns, they finally got to the location and started looking for a small plastic bottle with red reflective tape on it. It didn’t take long and they had it. Inside was a QR code (mobile bar code) and when scanned with an iPhone QR app, it took them back to the website and another riddle. Solving it revealed another set of coordinates. This process happened 9 times.

Back inside and after the little kids were in bed, the bottles were all put on the table where everyone sat  staring at each other wondering what was next. One of my nephews noticed a patter on the back of each of the QR codes and quickly ascertained that each one was a piece of a larger QR code. They put it together, scanned it and had the final set of coordinates. This took them to the shed in the backyard where they found a box with the Hunt logo on the side.

It was locked with a combination lock and the code was another set of four symbols in the notebook. Inside were two boxes of BeyBlades and a stadium as well as a scroll outlining the tournament rules. It was family against family for an all out battle to ten wins. The two top winners would then battle it out for top honors and become the Turkey Hunt champion. My wife was the champion when we finished the next morning after having to call it quits so the kids could go to bed.

I almost forgot to mention that I also hid in the house a shortcut that would have allowed them to bypass the walk through the neighborhood. All they had to do was discover the clue, which was a tiny Turkey Hunt logo taped to a cabinet door. Inside the door was a small metal tube containing the location of the treasure box. Nobody found it, but now they know to look next time…

I love designing these hunts and puzzles and seeing people engage them while making memories with loved ones. If you are around next Thanksgiving and want to participate, come join us.

The last go around was between two topics and it was a very short serve and volley:

THE SERVE [Matt]
Justification = just as if we never sinned & just as if we had always obeyed

Read it again because you might miss the profundity in the brevity. Now read it one more time. Isn’t that wonderful and so absolutely true!

Whenever I see the term “Justification,” I immediately hear the word “Sanctification” in my mind. It’s like when I hear the name “Marsha”, I hear, “Marsha, Marsha, Marsha…” from the Brady Bunch. So, I replied with:

THE VOLLEY [Me]
Sanctification = Proof positive that there’s always room for improvement

Now I sometimes say things to gauge the reaction of someone – especially in church circles these days, but this isn’t one of them. I truly believe that our justified lives are one big work in progress that has no ending point this side of heaven.

The point is that everyone around you is some sort of work in progress. And your Christian friends are being worked by the Creator of the Universe, who can be trusted to finish that work. May the Grace and Love of Jesus abound in how we engage those around us.

It all started with a delivery by my neighbor that had a box with a letter and a bag of items inside. He relayed a story of how he came into possession of the box (great job BTW) that was very Indiana Jones/Men in Black-ish. The kids were in awe and as soon as the door was closed, they were in the box.

The letter outlined the game and had one hint on it that led to a map where 12 plastic bottles were hidden. On the back, it had what looked like notes from someone who had been tracking the treasure for some time (ala Myst). Included were GPS coordinates to the bottles and the plan was to walk the neighborhood and find these bottles, but the weather had a different idea as it rained the entire day. So, we loaded up the van and a follow car and headed out.

It was quite a sight to see – me and three little boys running around in the rain looking for little plastic bottles with only the GPS unit guiding the way. After crossing back and forth over the one square mile that made up the playing field, we finally had all 12 bottles in hand. Now it was back home to find out what they contained.

Inside each bottle was a multiple-choice Thanksgiving trivia question and each was marked with a roman numeral from 1 to 12.

I had the best time designing the game and the treasure was worth the effort and we now have a memory that will last a lifetime, which is the point of holidays I have to say. Good luck and post a comment on how you did.

That’s when my friend said I should read Gary Smalley’s book, Change your Heart, Change your Life. He went on to tell me that it was a book about just what the Franklin Covey guys illustrated and was, in part, a personal testimony of this life-change technique in Smalley’s life.

So, I picked up the eBook for my iPhone and started reading it, but I didn’t read it alone. I invited a friend to read it with me (HINT: accountability technique was just disclosed). In the very first chapter, I was hooked. If the rest of the book delivered on just half of what Smalley claimed to do, I would be a better man for it.

In essence, the book walks you through how to both identify the beliefs that shape negative behavior and how to replace them with Scriptural Truth and in essence transform your life into one that is described as “abundant” by Jesus.

In just a few short weeks, I was indeed thinking and believing things differently as was my reading buddy. We both saw how those new beliefs had an internal and external impact on our lives. I highly recommend this great little book that can help unlock the potential for the life God desires for us all.

In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that this book contains the techniques and principles needed to kick that nagging behavior that is stealing life from you over and over. It is a must for men and certainly won’t be a waste of time for women.

As the head of a multi-racial family, I hope our culture advances beyond even noticing skin color, but for now, it seems, this is still something at the top of mind for some. But I have to wonder just how much headway is gained when you force a business to be diverse in it’s makeup.

From the businesses standpoint, there is extra cost in the form of compliance adherence and that can lead to resentment. For the hired, I wonder how it feels to be hired in large part because of your race and not solely on your ability to do the job better than anyone else. That’s got to produce some doubt and maybe some frustration as well.

Finally – this seems to keep the issue of race near the top of the list in our culture, which I think is counterproductive…but I’m a white male in my thirties…what do I know?

I’m more interested in what you know…am I way off base on this? I’m serious about learning something here.

I’m also a geek that loves nifty tools. From my iPhone to my Kreg Pocket Hole jig to my MX Revolution mouse and Surface 1030 mousepad – I look for things that are not only cool but help me get the job done more effectively and efficiently.

In addition, I’m an artist and as such, am quite attracted to Apple’s innovative products because they look so darn good and are so well thought out. Apple has mastered the User Experience (UX) game, which is incredibly difficult. In this arena, they have no peers. But fancy looking products and great UX only do it for me for a moment before the geek in me wants more.

You see, it’s not just about how well the tool works, but how well it works with other tools. My iPhone is great, but it is a stand-alone device (albeit a very versatile device) that serves to meet the need of portable connectedness.

When I saw the iPad, I had the same reaction – what a great looking device, but how would it help answer a problem for me better than what I have. The answer was resounding silence, which brings me to the point – integration.

I think the next technological evolutionary step will be to have a unified computing environment that allows you access to your files, apps and web-based content in an unrestricted and uninterrupted manner while moving from one device to another. We see this in the movies all the time. Tony Stark’s (Ironman) house had a very powerful computing system that ran the entire house and no matter where Tony went, he had access. The system became an extension of him in life.

That being Hollywood, I understand it is more science fiction than current day reality; however, it seems like Apple is poised to make that jump. They control the hardware and the sotware and have just enough moxy to try to pull it off, but will they? One thing will have to change – closed systems (think their hyper-critical stance against Flash) will have to be more open because as good as Apple is at the UX, they can’t possibly meet the needs of every aspect of our lives.

Here’s what I think that first step would be. Imagine an iMac in the office, MacBook Pro in the bedroom and an iPad on the living room coffee table. Say, I’m reading a blog post in the office and want to finish it on the couch. I hit a button on the screen to send the content to the iPad, walk into the living room where’s it more comfortable and pick up right where I left off.

Now that’s a simple example, but one that simply isn’t possible today. Once it is, I will be very compelled to take a hard look at partaking of the rotten fruit. For now, it’s just a pile of expensive gadgets – as cool as they are to look at, they simply don’t justify the price and pain to convert.

The first thing is that I believe God has given ME a ministry – to my wife, my kids, my neighborhood, my workplace, my church, etc. He desires me to live out my faith both with Him and the world around me daily – with passion, integrity and complete abandon.

Secondly, He’s given me a proper perspective on the role of my local church in that ministry. In the past, I felt like I was part of the ministry of my church – one small part of a much larger effort. This meant that I felt obligated to make sure I was operating within organizational parameters. From the curriculum I was taking my small group through, to the volunteer role I was playing on Sunday morning, to the various service activities I put my hand to – all of it was the ministry of the church and I was there to help fulfill it as I could.

That’s not how things are today. Remember, God has given me a ministry and is holding me responsible for it. It is personalized to me and takes into account who I am: my strengths, weaknesses, personality, experiences and the specific skills and talents He chose to endow me with. As such, the local church has become a resource to my ministry. Let me say that again – the local church is a resource to MY ministry; not the other way around.

This has produced a confidence of responsibility that frees me up to listen to the Author of my faith and the Designer of my ministry and move according to His plan. All of a sudden you have a new grid to filter opportunities through and it puts the power and accountability squarely on your shoulders, which can be a bit daunting if you think you are doing this on your own strength. That’s another post altogether though.

The local church’s proper role is to equip and unleash God’s people to pursue Him and His purposes in their lives. Sometimes this is easier for them to say than do, but I think we can help if we will adjust our thinking just a smidge to take responsibility for what God has given us and make that our focus.

As with other paradigm shifts I’ve talked about, there needs to be a cautionary note to prevent misinterpretation. I’m not saying that we should ignore and abstain from getting involved with what the local church is doing. Often, these events are great ways to grow relationships, meet new people and be a blessing to the world around us. The shift is in motivation. No longer do you have to do these things as an obligation to the church, but rather as a strategic choice in serving your God – and there could be no more lovely fragrance to Him than a right heart that’s passionate to serve Him and be a part of His plan for His people.

So, the question comes down to motivation. Are you abdicating the responsibility for your faith to the church or are you taking personal responsibility for your ministry and seeking His guidance about what’s next? You don’t need permission from anyone to do what God is calling you to – you only need faith expressed in courageous obedience.

Culturally, Americans focus on the negative and the proof is all over the place from report cards (what do you focus on?) to performance evaluations (where do you need most improvement?) to self-esteem (what areas of me need some work).

We are so obsessed with deficiency that we fail to understand what produces success. Take the examples above:

• What areas of a report card are best? Let’s explore why and do more of that – perhaps even apply some of that knowledge to the other areas.
• In what areas are we finding energy at work? Let’s get involved in more of that and see our job satisfactions go up.
• What part of me do I love? Keeping a list of those qualities about myself that are awesome handy when those old tapes play.

Knowing how to shift our thinking to focus on the positives and strengths around and in us takes some serious work up front, but the payoff is phenomenal. Take another example: spirituality.

Christians often want to focus on how depraved (opposite from God) we are and it comes out in the way we talk about ourselves. We call ourselves sinners and unworthy and undeserving when the facts of Scripture, when understood fully, paint a much different picture.

Sinner vs. Saint: In most of the apostle Paul’s opening remarks to the Church in his letters, he refers to the Christians there as “saints” – not saved sinners. Do you see the difference? It might appear subtle at first, but it isn’t – it is very profound!

Let me explain. When Christ enters our life and saves us from an eternal separation from our Heavenly Father, He must to do something with what separated us to begin with – our sin.

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;12 as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. ~ Psalm 103:11-12

The idea is that although we deserve to be judged and sentenced to eternal separation from God, He moved toward us and forgave that transgression and placed them as far away from us as the east is from the west (infinity). The picture the Psamlist wants us to put in our mind is one of a new identity – one of sainthood. We are no longer identified by our sin because it has been removed from us.

But what sin – just that which has been up to the point of salvation? Surely not – that wouldn’t be a long-term relationship since we seem to do something stupid that can be considered sin every day. Read Romans 8:37:

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

A basic tenant of the Christian faith is that God forgave all of our sins – past, present and future - through the blood of Christ and there is nothing that can come between us and our Father ever again, which includes us. So, if God doesn’t count our sins against us, why are so hell-bent on identifying with them?

There are a ton of real unhealthy answers and most have to do with our inability to accept anything good about ourselves and this comes from our culture, our parents, our teachers, and even our church. This has to stop!

When God looks at a Christian, He sees His Son – not sin. He sees His adopted child, not an enemy. He sees an eternal relationship, not a fling. And that is called Grace – the umerited favor of a Holy God applied to a wretch headed to Hell made possible through the willing sacrifice of the Lamb of God.

Here’s the point. If you believe in Christ and have accepted His death as payment for your sin, you are a saint; an heir to the Kingdom of God; eternally destined to be with Him who saved you. Your sinner status has been revoked…FOREVER!

Do we still sin – sure we do, but that has more to do with us than Him. Hear me carefully – our unwillingness to admit our mistakes openly and honestly and quickly is what taints our relationship with God – not the mistakes themselves. The power of those mistakes has been removed, but we hide from God when we screw up – we cover our nakedness and live ashamed. WE DO THAT!

We have been made great – not because of who we are, but because of He who lives in us. The first 18 verses of Romans 6 add the boundary needed to keep this new mindset in check:

Romans 6
1 What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase?2 May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?3 Or do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into His death?4 Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life.5 For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection,6 knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin;

7 for he who has died is freed from sin.
8 Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him,9 knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, is never to die again; death no longer is master over Him.10 For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God.

11 Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus.
12 Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts,13 and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.

14 For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace.
15 What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? May it never be!16 Do you not know that when you present yourselves to someone as slaves for obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin resulting in death, or of obedience resulting in righteousness?17 But thanks be to God that though you were slaves of sin, you became obedient from the heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed,18 and having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness.

You see, just because there is no power in our sin, we need to continue to take sin seriously because those mistakes keep us from experiencing God fully and we miss the blessing He wants us to experience (“members as instruments of righteousness to God – v. 13.”)

So, the next time you want to dwell on your depravity, do so as a way to remember how great the gift of Grace is, not how horrible and undeserving you are to be called saint. You are now a noble in God’s Kingdom – act like it!

I was in Russia for six weeks and we took a trip to the Black Sea one weekend. As night fell, I could see a huge light scanning the water back and forth. As I went to investigate, the search light became bigger and bigger – it must have been ten feet in diameter when I finally saw it up close. The purpose of that light was to search the open water for smugglers from Turkey trying to enter the country under the cover of night and I would say it was effective at lighting up the night for several miles.

The third and final installment of the banner series: Love Much, Live Well and Light Your World – moves us into the realm of influencing those around us. Like I said, I love the use of light in this last piece for two main reasons:

1. Light overcomes darkness. In all cases (even black holes are defined by the light being captured around them), when light is shone into a dark area, that area is lit up. You never see the darkness able to prevail in that engagement.
2. Light behaves as both a wave and a particle. Hang with me for a second. As a wave, light can travel vast distances and not be affected by gravity and other external forces. As a particle, light influences and impacts the physical world in real and tangible ways. The coolest thing is that light is neither a wave nor a particle – IT’S BOTH…AT THE SAME TIME. This means it has vast reach and real impact.

So when we talk about lighting our world, what we’re basically saying is that we (you and I) are to be sources of light shining into the dark world. Some questions immediately come to mind:

• How bright is my light (effectiveness)? If you’ve ever lost power at night and your flashlight needed new batteries, you quickly realize just how ineffective a dim light can be when you need to find your way. I think a Christian’s effectiveness in being a light to this world is how connected you are to the Father. To put it simply, moving toward God means a brighter light and moving away from Him produces dimmer and dimmer light.
• Where do I shine (intentionality)? Ever needed a buddy to hold a light when you’re working on your car or the kitchen sink? He can never shine the light exactly where you need it because he can’t see what you see. I think at times, Christians point their lights in the wrong direction and waste the lumen lighting up dead ends. Just like a third hand would ensure you get the light in exactly the right spot, I think God desires to use us in the same way. He knows where light is needed and desires to shine us right where light is needed most.
• To what end? Lighting your world can take a variety of expressions. It could be seeing a need and responding out of love. It could be telling a friend about your faith and life eternal. It could be having hard conversations with your kids about morality. It really is about responding to the world around you based on loving much and living well.

One final point about light – multiple light sources produce a brighter overall illumination. Back in the day, as more and more candles were grouped together, their combined light was more effective in overcoming a greater amount of darkness – thus the term “candlepower” came to be. This speaks directly to making sure we are moving together, in one accord with purpose.

Putting it all together:

• Be sure you are moving toward God so your light is a bright as possible
• Ask Him and courageously move where and do what He instructs
• Seek out and embrace community so we may increase our candlepower

PARADIGM CHECK: If you find yourself frustrated about the lack of response you are getting from efforts to influence those around you, examine how much you are loving and how well you are living. If you focus on step three and neglect steps 1 & 2, you may be shining your light into empty corners.

We’ve come full circle and as I consider the progression of Love Much, Live Well and Light Your World, it doesn’t seem like a linear progression any longer, but a circular one. Each step reinforces and deepens the next, but it all starts with love – may we never start anywhere else and may we never stop doing all three more and more.